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This story is rated K.
All can read!


By Magicboots

A/N: OK, this is for the iCarly Double Write-Off. Hope it's good.

"No," Freddie said bluntly. "Not happening...", he placed his camera down onto the tech cart, and started to tap his fingers lightly onto the keys. A code came up on the laptop screen, a jungle of numbers. Carly often wondered how Freddie managed to understand the computery techno wiz-how, then figured that part of him was probably robotic anyway.

She came a little closer towards him, and asked again in the small, pleading voice that always used to get him to do what she wanted, "Please.... do it for me?".

He looked up from the screen, and put his hands in his pockets. "No! I will NOT be subjected to dressing up as a spaghetti taco for the show! It's not happening!" and he returned to entering the codes.

Carly sighed, "Fine! I'm going downstairs to get a whipped carrot!", and she stomped down the stairs.


Carly was nearly finished walking down the stairs, and was just about to touch the bottom step when she saw a weird scene happening right in front of her eyes.

"No! Stop it!" Sam laughed. She was rolling and squirming about on the floor, arms flailing, legs kicking, and she was completely helpless. Spencer was kneeling next to her, his hands all over her tummy.


Carly stared, open mouthed. She didn't exactly have the best view ever, with Spencer's back turned towards her, so she had no idea what was going on between her older brother and her best friend. She asked quietly, "What's going on...?" and Sam let out another spurt of giggles.

Sam panted out, between fits of laughter, "S- Spencer is tick- ti- tickling me!". She tried to flick him away, but it wasn't working. "Carl- Carly, make hi- him STOP!!!" Sam squealed.

Carly made her way over to the kitchen, grabbed a towel, and started to swat the back of Spencer's head with it. He finally stopped tickling Sam, and groaned, "Ughhhhhhh. Now I've gotta get ready for that fancy art dinner... I don't wanna go!".

His younger looked at him, placed her hands on her hips, and sniffed Spencer. "Go and take a shower," she instructed him.

"I don't wanna!" he exclaimed. She looked at him sternly. "You can't intimidate me!" he protested. She pointed her finger towards the bathroom. "I'm going..." he muttered in defeat, and slumped off to take a shower.

Sam looked at her best friend, and asked her impatiently, "Well? Did he say yes? This is important to the sketch!".

Carly shook her head, "No, I tried, but he just won't do it..." and she walked over to the fridge to get her whipped cream. She sprayed it on a carrot, and started munching.

Sam's eyes slitted. This was her idea for a sketch, Freddork wasn't going to ruin it for her. "I'll make him..." and she pressed the button for the elevator. There was a BING! and the doors opened. She stepped inside, ready to win Freddie over.


When she arrived at the studio, Freddie was on one of the beanbags, watching the Animal Channel. There was some zebras..... not worth repeating. She grabbed the remote, and flicked the screen off.

Freddie craned his neck around, and yelled, "Hey! I was watching that!".

"I don't care," Sam replied plainly. She came closer to him, took hold of his collar, and yanked him up. She brushed down her top, and looked dead-set at the boy who was stood up in annoyance. "Why aren't you doing this one thing for my sketch?" she asked him.

He said the same thing that he told Carly, "It's degrading... I'm not being subjected to that!". He folded his arms on his chest defiantly.

Sam looked down slowly. "Bet you'd do it if this was Carly's idea..." she muttered. Then she looked back up, and tried to put on a sad face. She had Freddie wrapped around her liitle finger and she knew it.

He stared into her blue eyes, and saw a glint in them... he couldn't have been sure what the glint was though, so he took it for sadness. "Sam... you know that's not true..." he said.

She knew that he'd do it now. She'd won, he'd lost, and that was why Miss Puckett was the best. Sam could win without you realising it until ten years later, by which time you'd feel like an idiot. "Then do this..." she whispered. A flash of genius struck her. She'd try Carly's please, for me thing on him! Carly might've already tried that, but Sam was working Freddie now, so why not give it a blast? "...for me?" she asked.

Freddie groaned, and put his hands up in surrender. "Fine!" he sighed, and Sam punched him on the arm friendily.

She grinned "Thanks Benson, I owe ya one", and hopped down the stairs. Freddie stared after her and thought to himself, the things I do for that girl.


Carly, not Freddie, had the camera in her hand, and began the countdown to the show, "In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!".

Sam burst out into the camera view, and onto thousands of laptops all over the world. "¡Hola! Hey, it's me, the crazy blonde half of iCarly. Just to let y'all know, Carly's behind the camera. Freddie's getting changed into something more... comfortable..." Sam told everyone. Carly giggled at her face when she said "comfortable", Sam looked as if she was a movie villian! Sam began again, "Now, if you're wondering where we are, we're at the little fast food area in Seattle. Here on very important business!".


Most of the show was over, and the only thing left was the Spaghetti Taco scene. Sam burst out, "And now, give it up for the amazing, epic, singing Spaghetti taco!", and Freddie walked closer. He stopped on the edge of the camera view.

"I'm not doing it!" he exclaimed, and the viewers could easily recognise his voice. Sam caught hold of his hand, and dragged him into the spot where she had just been.

She whispered in his ear, "Sing, doofus!", and nudged him to begin.

He started to sing to the tune of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star': "Burgers, french fries, salad bowls. Nothing's as good as Spaghetti Tacos. The others all stink and I'm the best, cuz I out-taco all the rest. Burgers, french fries, salad bowls. Nothing's as good as Spaghetti Tacos," and he stopped. Sam looked at him, and did jazz hands at him. Freddie waved his hands and said simply, "....... Cha," and stopped again.

However... as they were in a fast food area of Seattle, there were a lot of other dudes in food costumes there. And they just happened to hear his song. One by one they walked over to the gang.

Sam decided to wrap up the show, "So guys, remember what Mr Taco sang. Respect the Spaghetti tacos! And now..." she started to trail off. The fast food guys were starting to make a circle around Freddie. "...it's the end of-" she tried to carry on, but was cut off by the sound of her guy best friend's screams. "Bye!" Sam yelled.

Carly switched the camera off quickly, and rushed over her words, "What do we do?!?". She looked at Freddie's costume being ripped to shreads, and winced every time he screeched. Sam winced with her.

Sam answered her by saying "He's theirs now...", and Carly shuddered. They walked off, leaving a helpless Freddie to be ripped to pieces. But then, Sam did a U-turn, and jumped into the food fight. Carly looked back, and saw Sam carrying a beaten Freddie over her shoulder.

"Ahhhh..." Freddie sighed in pain. Sam rolled her eyes.

Carly looked back at what happened, and rolled her eyes too. What was she ever going to do with them?

A/N: Now THAT, my friends.... sucked. That was so bad, it actually hurts to read it :(


Beaten by the burger

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