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Carly's POV. I can't believe I'm returning from Italy. My dad's returning to Seattle as well. He's no longer in the military. I can't believe it's been three years since we left for some military magic. It changes you in the military, it makes you a better person. I was already a straight A student but now I am a straight A+ student. Carly (to Sam): I missed you and your fat cake eating habit. Sam: Did you like it in Italy? Carly: Yes. Sam: Did you eat lots of pizza? Carly: There's more to Italy than the food, Sam. Sam: Oh, Carly. The hilarious Carly Shay everyone. Carly: How's college? Sam: Good. I can't believe you're only on your first day. Carly: I know, but at least it was Ridgeway, so I knew my way around. Sam (while eating a fat cake): It's confusing how Ridgeway is an elementary school, middle school, high school, and a college. Carly: Yeah, no chiz. Col. Shay: Here's $40 dollars. Carly: What for? Col. Shay: Having a good first day at school. Freddie: A corn dog for Colonel Shay. Spencer: A corn dog for my little sister Carly. Sam (to Freddie): Gimme that. (eats it) Freddie: Samantha! Sam: Call me Sam, dipwad! Here's your corn dog, Mr. Shay! Col. Shay: You can have the rest! Sam: Thank you so much! Freddie: Hey Spencer, we need you to do a trial run of the spit take for the webshow. And Sam why did you take the corndog that was for Colonel Shay, and not the one for Carly. Sam: Because Carly's my best friend and Spencer was holding her corn dog and I have a crush on Spencer. Freddie: Crush on Spencer? We're dating! Look at this poster! Sam and Freddie forever. Goopy Gilbert (looking through the window): Seddie! Seddie! Seddie! Sam: You better be able to deal with Seddie not happening because I have a sock filled with butter and I ain't afraid to use it. (iCarly Studio) Carly: Wake up the members of my nation it's your time to be, there's no chance unless you take one and the- Sam: Sorry I'm late! Carly: I already started singing! Sam: All right, keep your hair on Carly: Speaking of hair, why'd you dye yours brown? Sam: Carly, I'm 21, I can do whatever I want! Carly: Never mind! Freddie: Enjoy my sexy kazoo playing everyone! Sam: Sexy? It's not even kiss-y! Freddie: Ha ha, we get it, you're a brunette, you're a smartass! (Next day) Sam: Carly, congratulations on your pregnancy! Carly: How'd you know I'm pregnant? Sam: Freddie told me! Carly: That little asshole! Mrs Benson: Freddie, why'd you get her pregnant? Freddie: Because I wanted to! Carly: There you are, you fat piece of crap! Freddie: What the frickin' hell do you want? Another baby? Carly: No, because 2 babies sucking on my boob would hurt! Freddie: What do you want? Carly: Never get me pregnant again! We had sex ed in middle school, remember? And my dad doesn't know I'm pregnant! Freddie: Sorry! (50 years later) Freddie: Ah, the octuplets are happy, aren't you, Thomas, Edward, Henry , Gordon, James, Percy, Toby and Emily? Carly: AH, train names! Goddamn it, I gotta go take a crap!




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